In general, for the children handling the situation of parents getting a divorce is one of the toughest things. Sure it will give more pain to them. Basically, children will feel divorce is their fault when they feel guilty about it. Children always feel guilty when their parents getting a divorce. By already knowing the rules, children will never be born but they must be brought up by following all the rules effectively.
They will learn the rules via adults for their life. But, for the child, it is not a pleasant process, since they some will never follow. Frequently children will experience the unpleasant feelings while non-verbally, verbally or via the certain form of situations they have been explained want they are going through is not a proper one. At first, they will feel bad about themselves for doing bad things and finally, it can able to change them a lot.
Reason for children feeling divorce is their fault:
Now, almost you can understand why children feel divorce is their fault. It is because, as mentioned above, at that learning stage, everyone where blamed children and pointing out their small mistakes. This will lead them to though that, every bad thing is happened because of them and due to their fault. So, it will lead them to feel that, they are the main reason for their parent divorce.
Some children can able to get rid of it easily. But most of the children could not able to come out this guilt feeling and due to that, they will many health problems and much more problems too. But the children should not be blamed at this situation; it is completely the responsibility of their parents.
Parents are the one, who is responsible for children behavior. From the small age onwards, parents must give positive energy to their children and turn out them to be more optimistic. If the parent does not do all this, then they should be blamed at this situation. Children will never be ready to put blame on parents. They will always think that they will be the root cause for even a small argument between their parents.
What parents can do?
To get rid of this issue, what parents can able to do? At first, parents must think about their children deeply before going to apply for divorce. This does not mean that not to get divorced, because it is their life and they have full freedom to proceed. But before that, have to consider all the consequences.
Parents have to clearly tell their children about this divorce process in a calm manner. Parents have to tell, they still love their children but can’t live together due to some personal reasons. If the reasons are valid and acceptable, sure a matured child can understand. Sometimes the reason is not proper; sure it will make them feel about their parents’ divorce as their fault.
As the children age differs, so you have explained about the divorce based on their mindset and level. Clearly, they have to make the children understand, divorce is their own choice and not the fault of children. If you have got a divorce, when your children at 5, they will hear everything and understand.
By getting matured day by day, they will get the guilt about their parents’ divorce and forget what parents told them. So, explain the reason for divorce regularly to them based on their age group. Till children went to high school, this kind of process must be continued in an extraordinary manner.
The tendency of children to blame themselves for all kind of issues is increasing. It is really a sad thing of getting guilt to feel that you have never responsible for. This will always be a burden on the mind. This kind of guilt will be reduced within certain time about the parents’ divorce if the reason for the divorce is properly explained to them.
Also, the children must be consoled about this issue until when they reached the maturity level. Parents should never leave them after divorce; they must show more affection even after getting a divorce. They must make them give a good feeling to their children.
This society will never leave anyone to live peacefully. Some people may influence kids who are having divorce parents by telling badly about them. Weak children will listen to that and start hating their parents. So, parents should never leave any space for that and always act as the best support for them.